At some point in your life, somebody is going to let you down, no matter what, that's a fact. What's important is what you do with it and how you decide to go through it. These are 5 things I usually do when someone lets me down.
No matter how strong the boundaries you've set are, there are some people that just can help overstepping them. Or maybe you just decide to lower your fences and allow someone in your life that eventually ends up disappointing you. Don't blame yourself, you are human, not everyone shares your same values, and some others are, well, just plain dodgy.
The truth is that I've been recently let down by someone I let in my life and I honestly can't believe how well I managed the situation, it seems like finally all those years of therapy have worked. It is not at all my intention to sound condescending or braggy, because I'm no eminence in emotional intelligence, and I wouldn't say I have it all figured out, by any means, but these 5 things have worked for me and maybe they can help you too.
5 Things I do when someone lets me down
Step 1: Turn off my phone
Avoid at all costs saying anything when you are still angry. It might end up causing further damage, and if you know that you've had good intentions all along, there is no need to purge yourself from all the hatred. I know it might sometimes be hard, but make your best not to pick up your phone and spill poison everywhere.
Step 2: Play that record I like so much
Now is the time to be overindulgent with you and play all those songs you've been meaning to listen to but hadn't had time to enjoy. Soak the melody and sing at the top of your lungs – you'll deal with the neighbors later on, and there will be plenty of time for damage control.
Step 3: Pour yourself a drink (only one)
I don't encourage any excesses and as with everything in life, there is a thing such as too much of something. A drink will do the trick, it will help you relax and enjoy yourself.
Step 4: Allow myself some time for the circumstances to sink in
Don't go rushing do anything drastic just yet, take your time to feel every feeling, forget about what you think you should do, when you've been let down, it's all about how you feel about it, and it takes a few days to really sink in.
Step 5: Plan something with my friends
Once you've woken up, it's a new day. Plan something with those friends you are the closest with. There is no need to go through anything that has happened if you haven't made up your mind just yet about what to do or simply because you don't feel ready to talk about it. Your friends love you, but they are not you, and they don't know the complete story – and they also have their own experiences and what works for them, might not work for you. Just try to enjoy a good time with those who make you smile and comfort you.
The bottom line
There's no recipe as to how to react when you've been hurt, and what works for someone else might not be right for you. My word of advice is: just feel your every feeling and listen to your needs and allow time to heal. Don't ever feel like a fool, because if you've given your best, it is their loss, not yours.