Self-doubt could be sabotaging your professional and personal growth. Whether not being confident hinders your possibilities of getting a new job, making new friends or dating there are some steps you can take to improve.
It is sometimes inevitable to ask yourself whether you are good enough at your job, a hobby or in your social life. To say the least, self-doubt could be annoying, and while in mild cases it will not prevent you from living your life, in more severe cases it can cause a lot of damage. But where does it come from?
Causes of self-doubt
Self-doubt can happen for several reasons and it could vary from individual to individual, but there are some common causes.
1. Childhood and upbringing
If your parents had exceptionally high expectations, tended to be disappointed by us regularly or didn’t allow space to do things on our own, it can lead to fostering ideas of not being enough that when left unattended is very difficult to uproot.
2. Being too focused on others
Empaths have a hard time trusting themselves while helping others and considering them is an amazing thing, it can be harmful when you are so focused on others' goals that you forget your needs. If you feel your best when you are making some other person happy, what happens if they are not happy? That is the danger of attaching our worth to some other person’s happiness.
We are every day bombarded with a lot of standards as to what our friendships should be, what a perfect relationship is, what a successful job is and what’s beautiful and what’s not. This triggers feelings of falling short of those imposed demands and of course makes you doubt yourself. The constant comparisons we face on social media may cause us to fixate on them and damage our self-esteem.
How to overcome self-doubt
1. Find the cause
If you grew up not believing that you had the capacity for success, you have to find a way to unlearn those harmful thought patterns and behaviors. This is not an easy task, but going to therapy is a great idea to identify the problem and find a way to tackle it.
2. You are the most important person in your life
If you are too focused on others, it's high time you started to find a balance. While at first it may not feel natural, taking baby steps is the key. One way to refocus on your needs is to write 3 things that will make you happy that day as soon as you wake up. Make a list of the times your opinion or your work has impacted positively other people, create your own substantial personal foundation to take care of yourself.
3. Don't compare yourself to others
If you find yourself comparing to others too often, you first need to make a difference between what’s a goal and an unhealthy comparison. If you find yourself doubting your life after looking at somebody else’s life, you might want to check if this is something you are willing to work for or you do so because it is what you are supposed to want. If you decide that you really want it, try to work out the possible steps to get as close as you want to that goal. When your life depends on expectations, it is an opportunity for disappointment even worse if these are tied to what you are supposed to be or have. Don’t focus on outcomes, use every day to learn about yourself and what you need.
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