Maybe when you were little you were brought up with the idea that you shouldn't contradict your parents or the adults. If so, you should know that this idea becomes ingrained in the willingness you may have to try to please everyone and avoid confrontation.
In childhood we were often told that we should always try to satisfy and prioritize others and that it was not right to put our own needs before those of others.
It's time to forget about those things. Try to find out which of these 5 reasons makes you sometimes not as assertive as you would like to be. And change your attitude!
1. Low self-esteem and self-confidence
Lack of assertiveness is a vicious circle: when you are not assertive you probably feel less valuable and disenfranchised, which will make you even less assertive.
2. Certain stereotypes in your life
Sometimes there are roles directly related to non-assertive behaviour, such as certain low-level jobs or the traditional role of women in some cultures. The symbol matters. If you are told that a person has power, you may tend to think that you are less than that person and adopt a more passive position. Many times, when you confront those you consider powerful it is when they respect you.
3. You feel stressed or nervous
If you're stressed, it's normal to feel like you're losing control of your life. In these situations you can act without thinking and express your emotions in a very aggressive or even extremely passive way, as if nothing matters.
4. Your personality type
There are profiles. Some are more confident, some are less so. Whilst you can't really change your personality, you can work on and improve certain skills.
5. The weight of previous experiences
Many people have learned to respond in a non-assertive manner by imitating the behavior of their parents, friends, or role models. If you have always had helpful and complaisant with people around you, it is difficult (but not impossible) for you to learn to react differently.